Nothing...yet everything

I ripped my heart open for nothing
Yet for everything

Let myself bleed
From my wounds of self hatred and utter misery and hopelessness

Cried myself to sleep every night
Just praying for the hope and strength I needed to ease the pain inside
That everyday tore me apart inside

Nothing could ease that pain
Neither pills nor this love hate relationship with this razorblade
Could erase the storms inside of my heart

Nothing could've saved me
From my own thoughts;
My own attempts at suicide
My pitiful cuts of shame that faded with time upon my arms

So long; years spent sad and alone
Depressed and suicidal
Looking for a way out

Always seeking love and escape in someone's arms
But always finding betrayal and hurt

Nothing yet everything kept me holding on
Holding on to this life of mine
Than one day you found me

Broken and a mess I was
Loneliness and misery had done their damage on my heart and insides

You saw past the outside and took a deeper look; into my heart and into the deep abyss of my thoughts

You teased my heart
Captivated and allured my senses
Let me feel love and lust once again

Desire and need
Floods these veins of mine
Letting me live once more

Your soft warm lips
Kissing me
Letting me lose control in my dreams and desires

Your heart beating strong with mine
Both of us;
Coming from the same side of the tracks

Seeing past all the judgments and into one another's hearts
Accepting and knowing

Nothing and yet everything kept me fighting;
Holding on for you, for me, for us, and for this

Life