Painful smile

I cannot quite justify,
This pain in which I feel,
Its a pain become so true,
Im not quite sure its real.

I taste the tears so often,
Its just so hard to believe,
That this time back last year,
Id pack my bags and leave.

Sometimes I think im happy,
But this is so untrue,
This person that Ive become,
Is all because of you.

Memories shall always stay,
No, they shall never fade,
Are you proud of yourself,
Of this person you have made?

A smile so painful,
From a life, so unclear,
Feet on the edges,
Of a death, so near.