The ultimate low

As i sit there
at this new high
i start to laugh
then i start to cry
i wish you were here
by my side
but what we had
has already died
every night
before i go to bed
"i don't really love you"
repeats in my head
i get out of bed
and grab my knife
i cant deal with this broken heart
i want to end my life
but i talk myself out of it
like i always do
i climb back into bed
i cant believe we are threw
that is a routine
i have grown to know
i feel so crazy
i feel so low
what bothers me most
is something i cant believe
i thought i was in love
and gave you my virginity....