Stuck by a needle

by PS   Apr 11, 2006


Stuck by a needle
pricked in the thumb
the story of my life
family and friends
become the needle
and the dripping blood
holds my inadequacies
that whatever i do
will never be enough
to become what i
can be; should be
but i don't want to
be pushed to the wall
smelling the still roses
is more beautiful than
feeling compliments
hit you in the back
but never hearing
the love or pride
pushing forward
leaves me along with
myself and my loneliness
don't push and i will
survive with the others
the adequate, the fun

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Kaylee

    It's a bit confusing and the fact that it's stuffed together doesn't make much lines stand out. It does feel like something was missing. Was it good? Of course it was. Maybe if you'd gone a bit in depth it would stand out more. The title was okay but seemed just that when you could have the potential to make your poems truley amazing.

  • 18 years ago

    by Carmen

    The descriptions are unusual and original, but strangely confusing.

  • 18 years ago

    by Natalie

    I liked this, But.. It just feels like theres something missing, Maybe its just me, I dunno. But it was really good. My Fav lines are;
    "holds my inadequacies
    that whatever i do
    will never be enough
    to become what i
    can be; should be
    but i don't want to"

    I loved that part. Keep it up =] 5/5

    luv natalie x-x

  • 18 years ago

    by fallen angel

    I liked the way this one was written and set out. the blood and family was ingenious.

  • 18 years ago

    by Emma

    I loved it...great job....I am speachless....that is all....wow....
    Emma 5/5