"Like eyelashes theyâ??re glued with tears"

You need to fix that, but that obviously isn't your fault.

Anyway; I'm in complete awe with this piece. The last one I read was already good enough - it seems you've just topped it.

I've had to read this a few times, because the words have managed to jump out at me everytime - I'm finally now managing to look at it's deeper meaning, and I'm a little confused. Have you been hurt, are you just refusing to feel, and this line:

"The desire in us wakes"

What happened there. Suddenly your emotions are alive again? I've really had to think about and question every beautiful metaphor you've used.

This really is just outstanding. x

I really like

"Systems failed to jump my heart
Bodies in the sky
Standing on a rain filled cloud
With wings that cannot fly"

the whole this is so good im speechless.
I love it GREAT GREAT 10/5 lol
Keep it up

How pecuilar, but beautiful at the same time. Your vocabulary was brillant, and its overall flow. My favorite was your use of metaphors and similies... that made the poem for me. How you pieced a object, such as your eyes, and turned it into another image for the reader to visualize. Great Job. I loved it.

Wow, this one is definitely a 5 rating. It's so great, it really has great imagery, and the rhyme scheme is very good and unforced. Great job, I really liked reading it.

*amazing*

x.xBrokenx.x

Theyâ??re
Um... mistake?
Cool poem, I don't totaly get it, but I DO see the imagry, great job! 4/5

Very interesting write..I like the over all feel of the poem.
5/5

Ohhhmigosh. te second third and fifth stanzas rock like whoaaa. seriously beautiful. 5/5
Whooo hooo big words. =P

Wow that was amazing! i wasn't quite sure the topic though or like what you were getting at, it wasn't completley clear, but the poem was amazing!! really great write!! 5/5

WOW! I LOVED this. The words were so beautiful and well thought out, you are a truely amazing writer, great work.

--steph

Wow. I loved your choice of words in this piece. It was really thought provoking and deep. I loved it.

The flow was really well done for the most part except for one certain spot.
[Like eyelashes theyâ??re glued with tears
And hatred of a friend
Bruised the raindrops from the sky
As they start to descend]
^^The second and the fourth line don't really flow very well. If you added another word or syllable into te fourth line, it would flow better.

The rhymes were...wow. I mean some could've been replaced with different ones, but overall they weren't too bad. Well done. =) 5/5 xoxo

Samantha
PS: No, a 4/5 isn't downvoting =P Like a 3 or lower would be lol. No worries.

This is great

~shanny~