It's the first time in a long time that I felt like this, Miserable and helpless like this never could end. I try hard and harder to make it through but somehow it just doesn't seem to happen. And no matter what I try it always seems to come back harder. You're never there for me when I need you the most it seems like you don't care anymore and now that we are already this far it seems it can't get any better or worse. Then maybe we were never to be in one of another's lives. I love u and you love me but what is supposed to be, you have to tell me. I walk around in an empty room of darkness thinking how can I get away. I need the light why am I so depressed now and not ever. I can't stop thinking of the way I use to be and nothing will change what I use to be and I can't go back now because I have bigger plans and a harder life. Something's not right. Even though you're here it seems as though your not. And even though you're near I still miss you lots because things between us are not the same. I think that we were better when we didn't have to change. Now we have a new life to gain and a simpler style of change. I love him, he is my baby and my everything. If I could change one thing it would have been to wait. Cause now I have him and can't take it back and not that I want to but I know it's not going to be a piece of cake, Parties and balloons and even monsters in the room. I just can't wait to see what my little baby will bring to me.
