Blood red thoughts

Colored fields of red blood,
broken heart beating still in me,
reminded time and again,
refreshed memories hurt me still,

i go deep in my thoughts to my grave,
woken suddenly by an expression that i am only dreaming,
damned me for this useless life,
so wonderful now nothing without someone,

trouble with me is the trouble with half the world,
silently eating into our brains,
occupying our time and energy,
making us dig our own trench to hide,

it hurts so much to be nothing to someone to whom you were everything,
so easy it is to throw away me out of your life,
why so difficult for me to erase your thoughts from my mind,

even if i try i could not cut myself,
because even the drop of blood gives me no pain,
i feel so hollow feeling nothing in me,
it seems I'm already dead knowing not how blood runs inside me,

there is a sudden torpedo in my head and it aches with full force,
i faint there on my bed flashing into my past,
even if I'm discovered I'm already half dead.