Happiness-is it even real?

Happiness,is it even real
cuz in my life i don't know whats the deal
happiness,it comes and goes as fast as light
and yet when it comes there is only fright
happiness is knowing my dad has changed
happiness,supposable,is where a frown gets rearranged
happiness is when you know you have found the one
happiness,I've herd,is where there is only fun
and yet i haven't found this happiness people speak of
cuz right now my life is getting pushed and shoved
from right to left,from left to right
i don't know if i will live threw this night
happiness-see how much confusion it can be
thank God this happiness is not inside of me