I voted and i lost

I sit here alone
im in a few minds
none of them a good show

my only friends in this room
are a knife
and a bottle of pills

my first mind says yes
the second one says no
the third says go ahead who would know?

i have decided that i voted
and i lost

i pick up the pills
knock em down
pick up the knife
and throw it around

i now ly here
looking at what ive done
looking at the mess ive made

of my room
my shirt
and arm

tears start to roll down my face
like they did the night before
i pull myself up into my bed

pull over the covers
hoping that this is the last darkness i will see
and that i will soon see the light

i feel my heart rate slowing down
i feel my eyelids slowly closing

then i hear my alarm clock nd for one second
im fine
then i wake up to my life
my reality

i remember that once again
my wish went un-noticed
i am here for yet atleast another day

all i look forward to is tonight
when i can try it once again
hopefully for the last time