Breathing

by Leah20   May 19, 2006


The glossy diamonds slipping through
Her scarred fingers come unglued
Grandma's pearls slip through her hands
She has committed the greatest of sins
Inhale

She passes out
Drifts away
On the couch
Her forever in a day
Exhale

Memories slipping through fingertips
Last breath falls from stone cold lips
No more dealing with all of this
She breathes a sigh in final bliss
Silence

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    I think the phrase sliiping through is used too much in the first stanza. The rhyming threw me. You had end rhyme then every other line then back to hard core rhyme for the last word in the last stanza. I didn't like how the flow was mixed up. I thought the first stanza was pretty good with the third but the second one didn't fit. Just a few little things. Nice job
    4/5

  • 19 years ago

    by kia

    Short and straight to the point. Well thought out and written.

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