Safety is Costly

People used to say
when you lose your way
you become bolder
let it pass over

Learn a lesson
quit the obsession
do it different this time
get it right before you prime

Now that I'm here
I've run out of fear
I learned my lesson
quit my obsession
did it different this time
committed a new crime

I'm guarded
a part of me departed
You wouldn't want my presence
when I'm lacking effervescence

I'm immune to pain and heartache
make me vulnerable and i'll vacate
Because I'm strong now
I'll fight it with a sweat off my brow
It is my one and final vow

All of a sudden I wake up in the grind
Find myself in a bind
Wake up to find I'm not strong after all
Not strong enough to cry depite it all
Spinning around, I can feel that dam behind my eyes
Behind the wall I built from battling all these lies

I'm turning off the radio, the news is fake
The lies someone new will make
I speak to pass the time,
but what seems to be passing me is time
I don't know why this is happening
I remember compassion for the lonely ones
Now I'm one of them
This apathy
has taken the place of empathy.

I don't think it matters
that I'm hanging from the rafters
I'll hit the rocky shore as I always do
then swept away anew
I don't know what I'll find
but I don't mind
I'll probably find smoke and mirrors
and treacherous rivers

I once promised to never let my trials destroy me
but build a wall to perfect me
No one ever destroyed me
but I destroyed life's sanctity.

You warned me I was stubborn
I called it integrity
You told me I lacked effervescence
I called it trying to
maintain poise
maintain self-control
when you have no sense of direction
You warned that I was lacking faith;
copping out
I called it trying to persevere
and now I revere:
Safety is Costly

I'd like to thank Stabilo for two lines of this poem.

Copyright © 2006 Colin C