The heartache is getting to me

It\'s not like i want to die because we don\'t have that special flare anymore
It\'s not like i get jealous everytime i think of the two of you guys and how u guys are together
It\'s not like i get depressed everyday for the same thing you know i can never say to
It\'s not like i dont want to tell you how i feel, but it\'s hard to speak of the pain
It\'s not like i mean to hurt you when you find out how much I\'ve been getting hurt
It\'s not like i put stress on you for a reason, can i help it when im going through rough times?
what i can tell you is that i have NEVER stopped caring
even though it doesnt feel like we are still close, i can feel shots of pain slicing into me and love flowing into me at the same time
the heartache is just starting