Comments : My hiding place..

  • 13 years ago

    by KellyAnn


  • 13 years ago

    by Natalie

    Omg, First I wanna say I pray to god this isn't true. This was really really good. There was so much emotion in this. And it was really sad. My mouth has dropped, I don't know what to say. This was 10000000% awesome. Really loved it. 5/5

    `Taleee xx

  • 13 years ago

    by Bridgette

    Aww.. that was so sad and very heartfelt. I'm sorry if this is true. You did a great job on describing everything and it was filled with so much emotion. I love the part: "His pupils are whirling around
    In his crazy eyes
    And his face is a stunning purple "
    Great imagery. You did a really good job on this. I hope it's not true. 5/5**

  • 13 years ago

    by Kayleigh Porter

    That was very sad, but as there isn't a consistent structure it's slightly difficult to read. I think that a better pattern would make the poem more powerful. Good work though x

  • 13 years ago

    by vika

    Such a strond and awfully sad poem! great work! keep it up

  • 13 years ago

    by master of shadow

    Great peice, very well put together and written. really hope it is not true.

    you wrote it very strongly with clear content and a lot of feeling.


  • 13 years ago

    by Darien

    Awww this is such a sad story. I have a friend who wrote one like this, about abusive parents, and that poem went on to do wonders. This one is just as great, and I hope everyone gets a chance to read. Awesome stuff!

  • 13 years ago

    by Megann Lee

    Wow, that was purely Amazing Jessy. I really enjoyed reading that. It's rather sad though, but I enjoyed it. Great Job. :)

  • 13 years ago

    by Lost & Delirious

    I loved the whole poem, your description of your hiding place was excellent, and the story was really sad and somehow scary.

    Great job!

  • 13 years ago

    by Kristina

    Wow this is very good i like it a lot. you are so talented. i really like your poems so i'm adding you to my favorites. 5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Bertha

    Wow.. you are such an amazing writer!
    i really cant believe how wonderfully you put your emotions into words!
    (and i really hope that everything is okay in your life now.)

  • 13 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    "No, daddy, please?
    I wail, frozen with fear.."
    I think you should have quotation marks around 'no, daddy, please?'. and I'm not sure if I'd use a question mark instead of an exclamation mark.

    "Leave her alone!
    Don't you dare touch her!"
    I'd also put those in quotation marks.

    Good poem, very emotionally wrenching, and pretty difficult to read, especially the last stanza.

  • 13 years ago

    by Wasted Fake Smiles

    Thnx 4 entering my contest! so much i think i read this in a contest u enterd? anyway...gr8 work...5/5
    aishite imas

  • 13 years ago

    by Brigitte

    Thats sooo sad! I feel like crying.... I can't express how nice you made this poem! It was perfect and really kept my attention... My only suggestion is in a few places you flow gets thrown off because your getting a little to wordy with filler words. But overall your an amazing writter and this was an amazing write! Keep writting or I'll be very upset with nothing from you to read!

  • 13 years ago

    by {Anything_BUt_Ordinary}

    This is really sad!!!
    i liked it though!

  • 13 years ago

    by TeRi LuVz JuAn 4eVeR

    WOW!! This is good...I really liked it...

  • 13 years ago

    by ..*..kayla..*..

    Omg that is soo sad... i hope that its not true... but anyways its a GREAT poem and i really like.. even tho its really sad!!!

  • 13 years ago

    by Trampled Angel

    I will never understand how some people can live with themselves after they have sunk so low as to abuse sweet children. How can they dare to get drunk off their a** when they know they become horrible people under the influence. I wish I could kill them myself before the harmed such sweet inoccent people. This subject is very dear to me, thank you for writing.


  • 13 years ago

    by A Broken Bleeding Soul

    This is all too familiar for me. It brings back memories of my past. My dad used to beat me too... I still don't understand why he ever did. He's in jail now... he doesn't scare me anymore. But if this is actually true... you have to get help. He can't keep doing this to you and your mom. I lived with it for a really long time. Good luck... I'm here if you need to talk.

    ~ Tina

  • 13 years ago

    by Lovely Bones

    This sparked a tear... if that is the right word to use.. wow I couldn't even imagine anything like that.. I'm speechless right now. I hope it's not true. I do like the symbolism and the meaning behind the hidding place. Great job