Comments : Forbidden Love

  • 17 years ago

    by Sarah Ann

    Great poem! I loved the fourth stanza, sort of how I feel about my ex. The whole situation I can relate to. Keep up your good work! 5/5

    [ xxx Thank you for your comment on my poem xxx ]

  • 17 years ago

    by Nee

    I love it so much!
    its very sweet and lovely!
    the title is very captivating too =)

    Keep it up huni
    Best Of Luck
    NemO xxxxxxx

  • 17 years ago

    by xxpinkxxribbonsxx

    I loved every word of this sweet but kinda sad well done ^^pickle^^

  • 17 years ago

    by Jackie Marie

    I love it. :)
    Job well done.
    Its very sad though.
    Flows together very wonderfully. :)

    >black&&blue

  • 17 years ago

    by Jessica

    Awww.. that was sweet but very sad..the rhymes all worked well, as did your beautiful descriptions, and your words full of emotion! wonderful work! 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by David Paul

    Holy crap... i tried to catch most of it... but the line that stuck with me the most is his girlfriend needs to die!... holy crap... lol... the rest was really good but i think that was a little harsh... lol... but good job still... keep up the good work...

    david...

  • 17 years ago

    by *Wishes do come true*

    I like the way you rhytmed and the flow of the words very nicely written...

  • 17 years ago

    by *Wishes do come true*

    I like the way you rhytmed and the flow of the words very nicely written...

  • 17 years ago

    by Robie Lincer

    This was so good! i love how you express the forbidden love
    keep it up!

  • 17 years ago

    by Idiosyncratic

    I couldn't really get into this poem. I think you switched your style of writing a lot. It starts out really 'casual' but then gets really descriptive and imaginitive. Just hard to read. I do like the last two stanzas, though, so 3/5.

  • 17 years ago

    by twisted reality

    Aww. I feel the same way about a guy. And it totally sucks when he doesn't love you like you love him. Just keep your chin up. =)

    The flow was good, the words were good...Great write. =) 5/5 xoxo

    Samantha

  • 17 years ago

    by cowgirlstar26

    So im sitting in 4th hour looking at this guy who ive been in love with forever and he has no idea, this poem is perfect for how im feeling right now, loved the flow and u kept it going

    keep it up thx for rrc on my poem

  • 17 years ago

    by Haven

    Wow, amazing rythm! I love when I find things different to my own! and this was overwelming!

  • 17 years ago

    by ForeverYoung

    Sitting on the sidewalk,
    I watch him walk by.
    I really want to talk...
    his girlfriend needs to die
    ^^^
    I really like this stanza.

    There a fair bit of anger toward his girlfriend, maybe even a bit of jealousy?

    The emotions you have penned are beautiful, and the rhyming is really good!

    well done!

    ~Murder.

  • 17 years ago

    by Bryan

    This deserves to be a 5!! i loved the flow and description in this poem, great job, 5/5!!! keep it up!!!!

  • 17 years ago

    by *Wishes do come true*

    AW THIS POEM IS VERY NICE! ANOTHER GOOD POEM!!!

  • 17 years ago

    by ShootingStar179

    Oh jeez. Probably the most demented love poem I've read. You've got the darkness going for you.

    Advice: Use more details. There really wasn't any emotion besides anger. Where's the love?

  • 17 years ago

    by Mousie

    It was a nice poem... you need to put in more advanced vocab and the flow was a little off on the second to last stanza... it was really a nice poem though, keep up the good work

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I loved this.
    ''His gf needs to die'' ''drown him here?'' both made me laugh, maybe I just have a sick sense of humor

  • 17 years ago

    by melly xx

    The tiltle was so catchy and passionate, that i was kind of disappointed with the poem. Just some honest feedback.
    "and I can't touch!" i think you should change that to, "but I can't touch" it makes more sense. This reminds me of a secret crush you want so bad, but you cant get him. Just take what i said into consideration. Good job!
    4/5