Forgive Me

I want to make sure everything is alright
But I'm afraid of what I'll find
What is behind door number one
Disappointment and pain combined

Wishing I knew the answer
To this confusing mystery
Knowing the path that I am on
Is not where I choose to be

Asking for forgiveness
Wanting you to know
That I'm speaking with a broken jaw
But letting the pain grow

Because I'll go through hell and more
Just so that you will see
How much knowing that you care
Truly means to me

Repenting all that was lost
When things came to an end
Thinking that it was my fault
Asking for forgiveness again

So what's behind door number two
Could it be what I seek
Something that I long for
The one thing that I need

Wishing I knew the answer
To this confusing mystery
Knowing that the door I'm behind
Is not where I choose to be

I regret all the mistakes I made
But I cannot take them back
My actions were not from my heart
For it was not intact

But you helped me put it together again
You helped me sow it at the seams
My heart that was just starting to fade
Is again filling with dreams

Last but not least door number three
Its handle icy cold
Almost frightened too look inside
And see what it beholds

Wishing I knew the answer
To this confusing mystery
Knowing that the door I'm behind
Is not where I choose to be

The haunting ghost of my past
Wanting to remind
Or the memories that I'm scared of
The ones I left behind

The memories of an abusive home
Where I put on a fake smile
Knowing what to expect everyday
Myself a defenseless child

Crying out for help
Needing someone to stop the pain
Scared of the monsters under my bed
That start to resurface again

Hiding behind a door
That leads into my life
My one defense against it all
Against all of the strife

Wanting someone to have the courage
To take a look inside
And take me out of the corner
The sanctuary where I hide