Just Have To Say

I am jealous of not a person or a thing,
It is of something that i know will never be,
It is what everyone else has but i don\\\'t,
I cant wish for it to happen cuz i know it wont,
I used to think i had it all until they rubbed it in my face,
I am jealous of my brother and cousin going to their girls place,
Its not that they go its they can go whenever they want,
And i can only go if I\\\'m in corpus and your moms gone,
I hate that i cant see you whenever i want to,
And we can never do what other couples do,
We can never be together at all times of the day,
With that in mind my heart gets ripped into many different ways,
It doesn\\\'t bother me to the point where i think we should break up,
But it just sucks that if i ever see you with your mom and i cant give you a hug and say sup,
I hate that we have to sneak around just to see each other,
And if we go the movies we have to take \\\"tiffany\\\" my brother,
It sucks at my parties that you cant be there,
And i drink because the pain is hard to bare,
Like i said i don\\\'t wanna end it, its just something that has been in my mind,
I just had to let it out before i started to unwind.