Impossible Dream

by ~anorexic_ballerina~   Jun 9, 2006


Kneeling on the bathroom floor,
Blurring vision, throat so sore.
Pounding head, stomach in pain,
Hiding my secret in guilty shame.
Image of perfection in my mind,
Is this a death wish I have signed?
Wanting control but having none,
My fight for survival has just begun.
Can I reach my goal before it's too late?
In my head is a constant debate.
Eat or don't eat, what should I do?
An impossible dream I pursue.
Food into mouth, eating more and more,
My instincts to starve I seem to ignore.
Filled with guilt at what I've done,
Once again Mia has won.
To the bathroom before the bowl,
Food is purged to reach my goal.
Can't fight against what's inside of me,
In Ana's and Mia's grasp I'll always be.

0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by .x.StOnEd bUtTeRfLy.x.

    I love this poem. i love the words. I agree with Wishful Thinking in some ways..But i also think that you're way of easing the pain a little is through poetry..Good Luck for the future.
    Riana -xox-

  • 17 years ago

    by X~Angie~X

    Hye i can relate to this.. i kno its bad to have an eating disorter.. i alwasy think im fat.. but i guess i agree with the one above this one.. its true it is serious.. i kno that now. i hope that u take her advice.. cuz it is serious.. i am gona try and take it too.. but i like how u wrote this poem. its good. but be strong. i hope u can fight away ur eating disorter.. ur a talented writer. so keep on writing.. 5/5
    if u wana talk im here
    __ angie__

  • 17 years ago

    by wishfulTHINKING

    Hey. this is a really good poem.. but for all the wrong reasons. i had anorexia. its not a good, happy disease. i know how hard it is to fight those voices in your head but if you get help it is possible. my sister is recovering from anorexia. so i guess i can really relate to your poem. but you have to understand anorexia is not something to boast about.. it isnt a good thing.. people dont tell you you look beautiful when your anorexic.. they just stare and point.. and that doesnt make anyone feel good inside.. sure you might like the attention.. i know. but you can get attention in other ways.. not by starving yourself and throwing up. its a fatal disease and i was close to death. there is no point in being skinny if your going to die.. there is no point in being skinny if you look terrible.. sure you can be skinny.. but there is a line you shouldnt cross.. its not kool to have anorexia. and it definatley isnt safe. to everyone reading this: anorexia is not just a thing where people look at themselves as "fat".. is a disease that can cause death.. or serious serious illness. there is a voice in your head that you just cant control.. no matter how hard you try.. but there is help out there for everyone with it. you just need to speak up.. be heard. there is hope and you when you beat anorexia or any other eating disorder you come out so much stronger.. you live a happy life again..

    hope i helped a bit.. - here if you need to talk. xxx

  • 17 years ago

    by Jordan

    Oh boy, I read this and think, god this is what I feel this is exactally where Im at. I've been bulimic for way over a year now...and I know its a struggle and I feel it with ya. Beautiful poem.

    Much Love,
    Jordan-Paige

  • 17 years ago

    by YoU-nEvEr-NeW

    Hey thats really good i no what your talking about i use to do it too i did it soo much that it started to bleed with i did it will feel free to im me on aim at imalamawotwot if u ever wanna talk!