My Salvation

Lost and alone
I wish that the thing making me happy
Wasn't the blade
I put it to my arm
Push down,and drag it across
A strip of red appears where the blade was
Beautiful
The sight of blood
I love it
Cutting my own flesh
Its my escape
I live under the knife
But thats ok
Its what i love
A sharp edge
Pulled across my skin
Looking at my past mistakes
Drawn on my skin
Some white or pink scars
Some fresh scarlet reminders of my mistakes
The ones I love tell me to stop
Tell me they don't want to see me hurt
But they don't realize
They are the reason i hurt
Anytime i feel
Emotion makes me hurt myself
It makes me cut
The ones who care for me tell me to stop
But they don't see
It's not that easy
I can't just stop
They can't take away the one thing I love
They think its bad for me
But its not
Its the way I handle things
Its my salvation
I punish myself for my mistakes
Or for feeling more than i should
I hate that everyone says my one salvation is bad for me
Its the one thing keeping my content
Keeping me from freaking out
Hurting someone
Going crazy
But then again
Is anyone in this world really sane?
I know I'm not the only crazy one
Many people think like me
But they don't voice their opinions like me
They hide
And act normal
They think they have everything figured out
They think their perfect
But inside they know their just like me
Just as screwed up
Just as crazy
As me
They all use the same ideas
They use my ideas
They use my salvation