More Scars; Less Curves

There was an incurable longing
Lying low behind his icy blue eyes
Long dormant, or so he swore
Was this incredible need for him to feel her.
I wouldn't do as a replacement
This I knew; he knew;
Hell, she knew too.
Yet we tried
[I tried]
To reduce the hunger for her body
By forcing ours together
In unsymmetrical symmetry.

It took six months
White lies
And a little bit of alcohol
To forget that I had ever loved him
And to find myself a new love
[I'm addicted to the scars.]
There was a whole new person
Inside this broken body
Who never once
Stopped to think of what she'd left behind.

It took two conversations
One long awaited apology
And an I love you
To convince me to take him back.
One kiss later
And I was back to being his
A not-as-perfect body
[More scars; less curves]
To at least satisfy him until
He couldn't be away from her any longer.

It was only days
Maybe weeks
But I didn't notice it for months
But he found her again
And she was tempting him again
And I was caught in the middle
Of a vicious cycle
Of love, lust, and greed
[I was the only one in love.]
But I believed
Every word
Every lie
And every tear.

I didn't have to pretend
To be sorry, to be hurt
Or to feel ugly
Stupid; foolish.
He was the master of making me feel
Anything but beautiful.
And I was torn
[I'm still not completely okay]
But I've learned a lesson or two
From his anti-love
And cold, empty heart.

It may take a while
Some more tears
And a shoulder to cry on
Before I can learn to not regret
And just accept that he was a mistake
That I can't allow myself
To ever make again.
It may take a new love
[And a little bit of alcohol]
To show me that I am beautiful
And to help me accept myself
Even though I am not her
And he is not mine.
[I won't need him.]