Charming hearts

Lol.. woops.. sorry about that.. :P

This was good.. the emotion was clear and quite sweet.. but i got distracted by how it was just like a paragraph chopped up.. you have to end the paragraph where it fits.. you cant just say "ok, i want to cut it here" nice job though! 4/5

Aww.. that was very sweet.. i think you could maybe add a little more emotion into it.. right now, it is just stating "i feel happy".. you could make it more metaphorical and maybe add a few more descriptive words/phrases.. another thing i noticed was that you just ended the line when you felt like it.. you should try and end it at specific points so that it makes more sense.. good job though! 4/5

I agree with Melissa S. Masucci it sounds like a paragraph that you broke up. But I like the emotion in it, and use of words.

It feels like you took a paragraph and broke it up into short lines to make it a poem. There's no real flow to it, in my opinion.

I like the first three lines a lot, after that it seems to go off in a different direction. The topic is great, though, perhaps a rewrite of some sort to spiff it up? Hmm..