Something would come over me something so very strong
That would play on my emotions, tickle my song
It eagerly soaked up each drop of blood Id shed
And it lovingly drunk up, this crimson red
It was like my heart and soul where tainted with black
And if I didnt get my dose of pain, id wither from the lack
If I couldnt get that cool blood dripping to the floor
I couldnt face tomorrow anymore
I would drift into a shadowy trance
Where my arm would move roboticaly
Over my tender flesh on my arm
Because I wanted to reach the heights of liberty
Tears would entwine with the blood on the floor
Shouting with pure currents more, more, more
The stinging salt would embed itself inside my wound
And I would shudder from my darkening core
When I cut myself I was taken on pure tainted wings
On the journey where I could dance and laugh with pain
I could twirl among the rivers of bravery
I could happily say that I was insane
Yet something happened to me one night
Something that I will never forget
I really looked at the knife
And determinedly my mind I set
I looked deep into the soul of that knife
I looked for that shinning warmth
That embraced me when I felt sad
That held my heart under its wings
When I felt tired, angry and mad
I looked for that shadowy glow
That would let me reach insanity
I looked for the tender emotion
That was there to set me free
What I saw made me oh so sick
All I saw was a dancing cruelty
I saw it for what it was
It was just trying to drag me
Into hurting myself
And inspiring pain
That would make me hurt
And have no gains
I threw it away
Feeling so ashamed
But I got over it
I am alive
I am living
And for the best
Each day
I strive
