For Nothing

I know it's long, but i promise it will be worth every word that you read. jess~

Why does it still hurt?
Time has passed
Yet the tears continue
To spill down my cheeks
I've tried to forget
Tried to live on
But the pain still
Finds me where I stand

I thought I had escaped
Found a place of peace
Somewhere I could
Find healing for my heart,
the abuse left it
trampled and bruised,
but no tranquility can be found

Can one find deliverance
Of pain and sorrow
Or are you left
To immerse yourself
In grief and heart ache

I thought I had left it
Thought I had cleaned
It out of my life
But I haven't
He's still here
I thought I had found
a sanctuary of sorts

He's holding me captive
Why can't I be released
Freed from this burden
Freed from my tears
My anguish
My pain

The heart that once loved
Is aching for redemption
For someone to save her
Save her from this sorrow
Save her from her self pity

This heart doesn't know
I can't even comprehend
What love means
Or what love is
A heart of bitterness once
Tried to show me
But left me the shattered pieces
instead

Now here I sit
Writing about my suffering
Crying tears of mournful pity
Why can't I let go
Why can't I just live on
I wonder if life will ever be the same
The same as it was before
We truly met
Before I gave everything
For nothing but grief
In return