I know you know me,
But why don't you act like it?
It seems that you're ashamed of me,
I know I'm ashamed of you.
I know you don't understand,
But it's really hard to talk about you.
When people ask me about my father, I say,
"Um, no he's not in the picture, actually I'm not sure where he is."
I guess I just don't get it, but what's not to get?
You pretty much hate me, but that's OK because I hate you back!
Mom is always asking me,
Do you want to meet your dad?
Do you know how stupid that sounds?
Meet my dad!
I wanted to say, "Never! I hate him!"
However, all I could say was, "No."
I can't say how I really feel about you to mom
Because I don't want her to know, how empty I feel inside.
Ever since I can remember, I've always hated father's day.
I always remember this one year at summer camp.
Everyone was making a card for their dad.
I told them that I didn't have a dad.
They told me to just and wait quietly for the other kids to finish.
Or I could make one for an uncle since I didn't have a dad.
I can't even begin to explain the feelings I had when they told me that.
At school, the parents of the kids would come and pick them up.
I remember then asking me, "Where's your mommy or daddy?"
I would say, Mommy's at work, but I don't know where daddy is."
Now I can careless where you are.
It's funny, I used to pray everyday that you would come back.
Then mom told me.
She said that you had a wife and son.
As soon as I heard those words come out of her mouth,
It was all over for me.
My heart felt like it had been broken into even smaller pieces.
I hate them because they took my dad!
What did I ever do to them?
NOTHING!
So they shouldn't have taken my dad away from me.
The same questions ran through my head day and night.
Why did you leave us?
Were we not good enough for you? I don't understand.
You have never called me, wrote to me or anything.
I have never been so hurt in my life.
I thought dads were supposed to love their children.
I guess I will never know what you're like.
But if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be alive.
That's probably the only nice thing that I will ever say about you.
So don't go thinking that everything is OK.
Because its not! And it never will be!
Don't you get it! You are the one who left us!
And you will never be forgiven!
When someone says, I love you it is supposed to mean something.
To you it obviously meant nothing.
My mom loved you with all of her heart,
And all you repaid her with was the privilege of being a single parent.
She struggles time and time again,
But she always has a way of working it out.
She is the best parent anyone could ask for.
We haven't needed you,
And we never will.
So if I never see you that's OK,
Because I don't want to!
To me you are just
The Person Who Was Never There.
