I Remember

You were my first love and i will never forget.
Black clothes concealed by a black hood.
In your eyes i saw pain,
But in your soul, i saw love.
We talked at school, then on the phone for hours. All the while, strengthing our relationship.
You drink and smoke constantly.
At first i didnt know, then i saw them.
The cuts.
They were deep and covered both arms. Each one had a message, a hidden memory locked away within them.
Your mom doesn't care wether you are dead or alive, and your dad is no where to be seen.
Cutting is how you deal with the pain.
As we started dating, the drinking, smoking, and cutting stopped. Your arms were healed and you were happy.
I was forbidden to see you. But i saw you anyway, you were my first love and i wasn't going to give up that easily.
Then my parents made me furious and i did it. I cut. One cut, but a cut none the less.
You were so worried and you feared for my life.
My mom found the cut, pulled me out of school, cut off all resourses that i used to talk to my friends, and kept me in my room 24/7.
At first i blamed you and was ashamed at the cut.
Then i thought about this from your perspective.
You had no happiness in your life, until i came. After i left,
The drinking started again, and the drugs got worse.
Cocaine was slowly killing you and it was all my fault.
Cuts slowly began to cover your arms, legs and anywhere else you could find.
Yet, i still blamed you, then i realized that you didnt do anything. You didnt make me cut my wrist, i did that to try and piss my parents off.
The cut is now a part of me. That chapter in my life has ended and a new one is begining,
but the cut is a reminder...
that love is something worth risking everything for, but in risking everything, you may lose it all.