Im in pain; my body is craving for blood, my stomach yearning for food. Im hiding behind a mask I cant escape from. A mask that no one knows I use, a mask that I have perfected on wearing. Once again a blade lies in front of me within my reach; it glistens and yells out my name. I want to fight the urge, know that Im o.k. stop telling myself lies. I lay there with so many emotions swirling around my head, but not one word escapes my mouth. My lips feel as though they a sewn together. My eyes feel as though they could explode from the tears I have cried. The urge I cant resist, the blade being held in my hand, the coldness touches my skin, and a shiver runs through my body, a feeling of power, a feeling that all my pain will leave me. I press the blade down, and slice it across my skin, I do again and again till I see the blood I crave, The blood I love, the blood that holds all my pain, I feel at ease, I feel calm. But then my pain comes back to me, I realise what I have done, Ive ruined my body again, destroyed what has been given to me. m angry at myself, so angry that I want to self harm again, its just one vicious cycle.
