Her Long-Awaited Suicide

Her parents left tonight,
Only having one request:
Clean the counter,
Now she looks down at the smooth marble surface,
Her face is reflected off its clean top,
A hated face,
A tear runs down her cheek and splashes on the counter,
A pen,
She needs a pen,
She finds one in a drawer,
Takes the sheet of paper she has placed on the table,
She begins writing:
''I know its unexpected, but it has been coming for a while,
The pain is unbearable and has been driving these thoughts into my head,
Thoughts I should not dare to think,
But they dominate my life now,
And are the causes of my actions tonight,
Do not stop living for my lonely life lost,
Appreciate the burden that is now gone,
But know one thing:
Even though it was too hard for you to give your love to me,
I loved you for trying.''
Tears are now streaming down her face,
She doesnt understand,
This is what she has been waiting for,
What is there to cry about?
Its been a long awaited end,
Something she has dreamt about for years,
And planned for months,
She places the letter in a carefully thought-out location,
Her tears beginning to cease to a quiet choking of her lungs,
Closing her eyes she can almost see the fear in her moms face when she sees the note,
She can almost taste the grief her mom will feel,
But her mom had the chance,
To love, care, support,
She blew it------
Under the bed it sits,
Waiting, loaded,
She picks it up with a trembling hand,
Her body quivers at the thought of what shes about to do,
She sits,
Sits on her bed that she has cried on so many nights of her life,
She has two minutes,
She closes her burning eyes and begins to sing:
''Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear me-e, happy birthday to you''
She opens her eyes and looks into the darkness filling the room,
Her head jerks toward the clock again,
One minute,
She can feel her heart beating faster and faster,
The minute hand changes,
11:18 PM,
She was born exactly 15 years ago,
And she wont live a minute longer,
She begins her count,
10-9--8---7----6-------5---------4
She swallows,
The lump in her throat feels like it has gotten bigger,
The knot in her stomach makes her want to vomit,
She raises the gun to her head with her right hand,
With the other she puts her hand to her neck,
Feels her pulse,
And uses its steady beat to count down,
3----------2----------1----------,
And her long-awaited suicide is completed.