You Came Too Soon

by Athic   Jul 1, 2006


Their envious faces
closing us the door
i want them to ignore
if you let me to

how can i be sure
that love is the best cure
when it's making up the pain
and leaving us in rain

every my step is fall
so nail me to the wall
and let me there to die
is this what you want?

perplexing regulations
against true love inside
and i don't want to hide
i gave up so much

petrified by the time
fleeing in the night
i'm sicked of that fight
and you still hold me tight

people don't believe
they will never forgive
and i don't want to live
and your hand still in mine

and you came too soon
and where is now your face
most likely there was no place
for our love to live

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by Tamsin

    I loved this poem, however in your description you said your english wasn't very good so if you don't mind can I suggest some corrections?
    "closing us the door" is a little confusing, possibly: "They close on us, the door" to make it still rhyme?
    every my step is fall could be 'every step I fall' and also 'leave me there to die' instead of 'let me there to die' and 'sick of that fight' instead of 'sicked'... I don't mean to offend I just think those corrections would make it heaps better, though it's already really good :)

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