An excerpt from my diary

Why do i fear the future? it's like i don't want to age because I'm so clueless on what i want to do for the rest of my life. I am also scared of change. i can't believe that my adulthood is approaching so soon and so fast. it was just yesterday when i was excited to got to high school because of the torturing that i endured in middle school. and all of the stuff i was doing to change myself for the better is so useless. i can't change who I am this is what I am suppose to be. even though i don't like it, i just have to deal with it cause it's not going to change me. i just want to be happy. to be successful and raise wonderful children. i want to make a difference in someones life so i can say yeah i helped that person.i have all of these feelings and emotions going through me i am going to burst.