Sixteen

Winter babies UNITE!1 yes, ahem!1 im a february child, see....and it was december when i wrote this...enough said.

Well It's a good thing that I read your comment before writing mine because you would have gotten a comment like this:

WHY THE HECK IS THIS POEM CALLED: SIXTEEN!?!?!?!/???

but moving on. This is a good description of being sixteen AND been an arts student at our high school girlie. Well done and well put. I personally am fond of the references to winter because I'm a winter baby w00t w00t. but yes, well done

and on another note, Laura you have made a great asset to the bowl and I want to thankyou for joining. =] keep it up and keep on smiling *Even in math class girlie!!!*

love yeh

Dammit....emoticons don't work... -_-"

Bah! where was this on my birthday, laura? so much for belated ...*mutter*

i'm kidding of course ^_^ this is marvelous. but you want constructive criticism and not just "omg awesome!" so here it is:
i know the words 'chiseling features' are often paired up, but it'd be better if you use a different word than 'features'...something concrete like torso or spines
the repetition of the word 'scene' in the last stanza doesn't do much for the poem except draw attention to itself, so i'd suggest a speedy flip through the trusty ol' thesaurus for that part
also, the word 'of' in "ragged angels of hard rock chords" doesn't feel quite right...maybe "and" ?

ah but these last four lines are so beautiful and wise i think this calls for an emoticon: ♥

Hey guys. this poem is about being sixteen, in short. it's basically a list of images that are meshed in with ideas or things that occur or are part of being sixteen.