My life seems empty. Like an on-going day-by-day descent into oblivion. I'm not passionate about anything anymore. And the 1-2 things I am passionate about I can't have.
I'm head over heels for Crystal. I think about her constantly. I can't go a minute without thinking of her. Even when I meet new girls or see attractive girls I don't care anymore. I think & care about Crystal and Crystal alone. Crystal is everything; physically beautiful, I love her style, she's smart as hell, intellectual like hell, fun, playful, considerate, kind, mean but a good kind of mean, a sweetheart, inspirational, admirable, a tough cookie, yet a humble one at that. I'm infatuated with her. Every word I hear, every breath she takes, every glance I catch I want her more than the second before.
I wanna grab her, I wanna hold her, I wanna look in her eyes, I wanna kiss her lips softly. I wanna walk around holding her hand and letting the world know she's mine.
Yet this is all for none. When I touch her, she asks "why'd you touch me." When I compliment her she says thank you but grows silent and walks away cause she can tell I still like her. When I sit by her, she gets up & walks away. When I'm around her I act my best. I don't flirt nor kiss nor hold the girls grabbing me cause I want her to see I'll give it all up for her. I don't even care for a kiss. I care for one night, just one night, where it's me, her, the stars, the beach, the ocean, and my arms around her waist. My arms tied around her stomach, my head on her shoulders, her hair in my face, our eyes an inch apart, and our hearts as one.
Reality hurts, reality is my deepest thoughts and dreams will never come true. My passion, my soul, my inner-most desire is just that, a dream, a fantasy, fiction, a reality that won't come true.
