Drinking it all away

I look at myself in a broken mirror
I see the tears falling from my eyes
I hear my heart pounding
blood pumping through my veins

I look at myself one more time
Just to see my pain
To know that it is all real
To feel the blood before it spills

I can see all my old scars
The old me coming out
The knife calling out my name
Wanting me to take my life

My head is spinning
This is wrong
I know it, I can tell myself it is
I just cant stop the hands from moving

Now the blade sits on my wrist
I keep whispering
Talk your self out of it
You dont have to do it

Then I close my eyes
Focus on his smile
Hear his voice
Its telling me the same
You will be ok

Your mom is just drinking again
It will be over tomorrow
You can start a new once more
But I hate that feeling inside
While I Watch it and See it form inside her

I hold on to his voice
Let go of the knife
Watch it fall to the floor

Looking back at myself
Looking into my eyes
Seeing the tears still falling
Hearing the blood calming down

Mom is passed out on the couch
I see her as I walk to my room
Pick up the phone
call him in tears

Tell him the story of my night
Whisper to him that he saved me again