My life

I grew up in a small town,
met friends that always put me down.
They did drugs all the time,
it always made them unwind.
I lived up there for so many years,
and it caused me so many tears.
Family always watching without a doubt,
that my friends and i will always stand out.
Dressed in black everyday,
they are trouble makers they all say.
The way my friends and I dress,
makes my parents think I am a depressed.
Just because I dress in black,
does not mean that I am a whack.
So many times being put down,
I take it out on myself not making a sound.
My cuts start out small,
to god I always try to call.
Started doing drugs a couple years ago,
it made me feel like I was low.
There were so many fights,
that I knew were not right.
There was way too many for just one life,
I know because I always turned to the knife.
Last year I moved out of this town,
when school started everyone put me down.
It was no different then before,
I think it just hurt me even more.
If I changed my look,
It would be as if I was a shut book.
Being a raver for so long,
made me feel I wouldn't belong.
But I tried to change,
though I thought it was strange.
It got me friends,
with a completely different trend.
Bottled up anger so far inside,
made me feel it was going to blow my mind.
I had normal friends for once in my life,
yet, I still turned away and used my knife.
I love my friends don't get me wrong,
but it has not been very strong.
These are my emotions,
all because of these fights....
that makes me want to take my life.