This is very sad
wow but the pain shows through
wow what a great poem

5/5

from me

This is very sad
wow but the pain shows through
wow what a great poem

5/5

from me

Very deep and quite dark. Have to agree with the coa coment but other than that I thought it flowed well. Realy reeled me in as I thought she would just shoot herself.
Great job.

I loved this stanza, I can totally relate to it:

All her grace she once had earned.
Comes crashing down around her feet.
Her clever wittiness she once created.
Lingers within her hating mind.

I liked the theme of your poem, and your word choice was beautiful.

Good job!

Keep writing.

XoXo
Gaby

Very well thought out poem. Good work on it. 5/5!!
I'm not sure if in the last line of the last stanza you meant "wants" or "wasn't"... cause you wrote "wants" && maybe it's just me, but i think "wasn't" makes more sense..but i guess both could work. This poem was eerie and at the same time sad. it made me think about perfection and what it really is. Great peice of work!!

I like this poem, is is a little dark but full of emotion. great job

Wow! this poem really caught my attention, it was kind of like reading a scary story, it gave me chills. You did an excellent job on this poem, and even though it didnt rhyme it flowed amasingly.

Great work

--Steph

Blue eyes as bright as an October sky.
A hidden story they seem to mask.
Her lips refuse to part to reveal the stories.
Of the perfection she just doesn't have.

Great opening stanza, but I don't think the rest quite matches up to it. Seems like you concentrated a lot on the story but not on the quality of the language and techniques in the poem.