Why me?...

As I'm lieing on my bed, thinking about the past, how my mother left my father with us two kids, no home, no life no place to go, all alone I grew up not knowing who she was.
Then one day I get taken away from my father, and then living with my mother, she hit me and yelled at me made me take care of her other children I was only 10 and my tears fell from my face like rain, my mother caused so much pain, but why me?
One day my mother made me go with her to a man I did not know, he told me if I did not lie to him, and make up some story about my father id be sent away to a girls home, I begged my mother to just leave I told her my father never did anything but locked up in the room, I had no choice but to lie...I said my father raped me and next thing I know my father was almost sent to jail to a place so dark and scary, but every chance I got to scream I told them all it was just a lie a lie my mother made me say..
But the more I'd say the more my mother would hate me, the more anger she would build, as this went on for many years, the fears I felt made me feel more depressed so i cut and cut yet no one cared, screaming on the inside and yet no one hears..why me?