With my chin in my hands,
I sit here.
Wishing that I
Could get rid of this fear.
I make no effort to control
The splurges of my random mind.
I don't care who sees me
Unless I start to cry.
It doesn't really matter
If someone talks to me or not.
I'll hear them, but not listen,
while thinking of these feelings that I've got.
I'm too busy
Lost in these thoughts
About that which I can't control
I'm trying desperately to find
Where I long to be in my soul.
Because I'm overcome with hopelessness
Even rain has lost its song.
I don't know how it could change this much
or how it could go so wrong.
If you touch me...
I'll run away
try to keep me...
Will I ever stay?
And even if I know I need you
I won't say anything
You'll know that I'm unhappy
If I can't bring myself to sing.
And I know I seem to force you
To somehow work around
The border of my B0X
To which I've become so tightly bound.
I'm sorry*
I'm sorry you can't see me
Because I'm so covered in pretend
I don't know how to stop it; don't know how
To let it end.
I'm sorry you can't help me
Why is it I'm...
Unreachable?
I don't know
If anyone knows
And guesses aren't reliable.
So I'm trying hard to help myself
While holding tightly to your hand
And I want to thank you so much
For merely trying to understand.
