The friendship and good times we had you can have them back

What's the use of saying sorry when u don't even mean it?
What's the use of smiling to me, when u don't want to?
Good times have passed, now comes the worst.
The friendship and good times that we had
You can take it all back.
All the fake smiles you gave,
I am glad to tell you that you wont have to do it anymore

You can gossip all you want about me
Cuz it wont hurt anymore.
I have found my true friends,
Friends that really cared for me.
Friends that even cared for me when I changed,
Unlike you.
But I just want to let you know
No one ever changes for the better.

When u changed, I was there for you,
I blocked all the gossips people say & ignored them
But when I changed, you left
And began gossiping about me.
You've found new friends,
Friends that suit your interest "gossiping"
And friends that all hated me.

I loned around in school for the next few days,
Feeling used, lost and betrayed.
Trying my best to block my ears from all the gossips I hear
Gossips that were really bad...
And rumors that killed my soul.
Then I asked myself why?

"Why of all people, it got to be me?
Why can people change? And why cant I?
How do people have such supportive friends?
Unlike mine?
And why do I live on, such a terrible life?"

I felt really lost, I had no one to relate to
At home was always a quarrel,
Everyone was just too busy,
No one even cares.
I lock myself in my room all day
Tears that were held back in school,
Burst out once I close my door.

Waking up with swollen eyes in the morning,
It really hurts to open them,
I just wana lie on my bed and not get out.
I just wanted to die.
Time passes, gossips and rumors got worst.
They even accused me for the things I did not do.

I tried telling him about it
But all he can say is.....
"just ignore them and concentrate in school"
I know that he will never understand,
Cuz he had never been in my world before.

That night, I sat on the cold floors in my room
And stared to the walls...
I tried punching the walls really hard
But it still couldn't take away my pain...
So I seeked something else,
I saw a few razor blades on my table,
All rusty as I used it to make the drama props.
Without even thinking,
I just took a blade and started slashing myself.
I started on my wrist, and it took away my pain.
I started slashing at hidden places,
Places like my stomach,hips and knees
So that no one will ever notice my scars.

I told some of my true friends about it,
They immediately told me to stop,
But I couldn't so I threw the blades away.
As my wounds heal, scars appeared
Scars that reminded me of the past.
I then felt really stupid for cutting myself then.

I have moved on now,
With my true friends who cares for me.
They were there when I needed them
And I truly appreciate it and thank them all.

But to all the people who used me,
I hope that you would wake up one day
And realize that by gossiping and spreading rumors,
It hurts the victim deeply.