I Feel Suicidal

I feel suicidal,
Though I have never slit my wrists,
But of all my thoughts,
I do think upon this,
I don't feel safe,
I feel insecure,
I feel like I need help,
But of that I'm not sure,
I'd rather be alone,
Then let pain come near,
So afraid to love,
Afraid of all my fears,
I don't belong,
And I don't deserve,
To live this life,
That I have not earned,
Feels like I've sinned,
Though I have not,
These thoughts have been bothering me, they don't seem to stop,
I just want to be free,
Free from all of this,
A wanting to be dead,
There's so many things I can list,
Love seems to save me,
Love from my closest friends,
I wouldn't bare to give them pain,
If my life were to end,
But it seems so right,
It seems to be clear,
That for me to live this life,
It only brings tears,
Friends wonder how I can put up With the things I go through,
I can't though,
They don't seem to see that they hold me here from something that I want to do,
And I read other suicidal poems,
I see other thoughts,
And I've notice no-one else knows I'm like this,
Though I'm not afraid to get caught,
Just been wondering if this is the right thought,
To give up my life,
or to stay here and face what I always have fought.