Spirit of memories in the light of paradise

On my hands and knees I am crawling up, hurry I am falling, This world has no love for me it shows me again and again hurry I am falling I need you.
I have been misused, misunderstood, evaluated and judged for far too long but I still wont give up. I have missed you for god only knows how long because it started before it ended. I have been hating this for so long I walk this world limping everybody loves and cares but they also deceive and deceit. Greed, hate, envy corrupt the minds love is diminishing then what is to become.
I am colder I can't look at things the same, I try and disappear when I think of your face, my dreams keep your face alive and I know It serves me well. Now that you have gone and the worst is over we can move again. This life isn't what I wanted always on the move we did not plan it to be this way. I remember those years wow who could have thought it would turn out like this I look at your photograph and it makes me laugh the spirits of past memories start swirling in my mind but I say whatever its too late I have wondered if its time to say it goodbye sometimes seems like the best word I just wanted that one day where u say I do that was my fantasy truly over and over I just never got past the fear of losing you one of the best metaphors for this is you do not fear other things you fear the fear in yourself not what someone puts in you. When you left you did not take my heart you took my soul my broken wings put me on the ledge hurry I am falling. You know I love you, you know I have all along even if I do not see you anymore. I should have let you hold on to me and never let me go but it all ended in such a hurry everybody got hurt and we walked away limping mind torn by emotions constantly wondering what if. So much was learned but so much was lost I never dreamed that you would have been mine at all but it happened but then I swallowed my pride. I tried to show the world they were wrong but in the end I lost and we saw the day when I died but with every death comes a new life lying beneath stars we realize we are apart of something that can not be described. You taught me wrong from right I canâ??t begin to explain what youâ??ve done for me the man you made me to be. Parents are suppose to show kids these things but I think it takes the person you love the most to show them to you, but what actually is love can anyone at all really tell you what it is truly because I do not think anyone knows its there but you do not know it. I need you in my life anyway possible because the connection to me is too much any kind of relationship is better then none a light in paradise is what you are to me.

Dedicated to my first love Stephanie burke