Sleep ( In memory of my friend Amanda)

While I'm sleeping, your still with me.
The way things are supposed to be
We laugh, we talk, we joke, we smile.
The way things are supposed to happen.
I awake, sometimes, with a calm feeling.
A feeling that nothing has changed.
Until, slowly.
Reality seeps back in.
Your'e never coming back.
The truth grabs me, drags me down.
Choking me, leaving me gasping for air.
For relief.
It leaves me , hands reaching.
Reaching for you.
I miss you so much,
I keep telling you this.
But you don't seem to hear me
I talk to you everyday.
I tell you my deepest, sincerest feelings.
I tell you how my day went, as I sit next to your grave
I plead with you, I bargain.
"Just one thing" I cry
"Let me know everythings alright! Tell me you see me! Tell me your happy!"
Nothing.
So, here I sit with my one sided conversations
And yet, they give me strength.
A strength to hope,and a strength to love
A strength to tell you that I miss you.
Even though you never answer.