When angels cry,
Is when I need you the most
((This is my absolute favorite line.. Great job.))

I really liked this... It's different from the rest of the love poems, somehow, though I'm not sure how. I really enjoyed reading it though. Keep it up.

xDarkSuicidex 5.5

Your are the one with the words I need to hear.

[ Either have "you're" ..or "you" ]

We have spent our hole lives without a clue

[ whole.. not hole. ]

And I don't think its right,
That we should be left to be lonely.
I don't want to fight.
I just want you to hold me.

^^I thought that stanza was really cute. Tehe.

I'm guessing this is kinda a song, just like your other poems lol.. anywho, I liked this one, it was really good. Keep it up! 5/5

Natalie``

P.S. Sorry if I'm taking so long to finish yours, I'm abit sick atm so yeah. I feel like crap, Lol..

Awwwww...thts sad....it makes me wnt to cry......a 5/5 for me..keep on writing!!!

Your are the one with the words I need to hear.
--------------------------------------------
you need to take the 'r' off of your or take the 'are' out.

Tell we forgive.
--------------------------------------------
Tell should be 'Til' or 'until'

We have spent our hole lives without a clue.
--------------------------------------------
'hole' should be ' whole'

other then that i loved this poem, I can relate to it alot. it was very touching and sad but sweet at the same time. 5/5

Beautiful poem.. you described your feelings so well.. just one thing in this stanza
Our wounds can't heal,
Tell we forgive.
Why does it feel so real,
The way that we try to live.

shouldn't tell be till? or did i misread it? hehe anyways just wanted to point that out... the poem was great! keep writing! :D

~angel~

That was very heartfelt full of emotion and descriptive. good job on this one as well =) xx

This is a really good poem. It sounds a lot like some of my work, because it talks about love, but, just like in this poem, love isn't always as happy as it seems.

This is a really good poem. It sounds a lot like some of my work, because it talks about love, but, just like in this poem, love isn't always as happy as it seems.

This is very good.. I give you a 5/5.. Keep writing..

A very powerfull poem, though it feels a little incomplete.

OK, we'll start with the technical aspects:

There is a spelling mistake in the last line of the first stanza. Hole should read whole.

The form feels a little disjointed. The repition of the Broken chorus makes the poem feel like a song, which is fine, but the rest of the poem does not follow a set meter to unify that feeling.

A poet often says more important things with less words. Read over this piece and highlight the areas that fill out the poem and seem less important. Read it again without the highlighted sections and see if the overall message you are showing the reader is the same. If it is you have made the poem better.

I like the sentiment of this piece. I think it could be made better by having an oxymoronic tilt to make it stand out over and and above most of the other love poems on the site, but it's a fair poem nonetheless and it is clear that you have thought about what you wanted to say.

Keep it up.