Do I even really matter

Ill sit here being second best
Not even understanding my own thoughts
Not even being able to know or face my own power
You should never play with someone the way you play with me
But I'm just going to let you play
If thats the only way i can be close to you
And I'm just going to move on
Keep quite from now on
Because I'm causing too much stress
And no one lets me believe these feelings i have
So why should i try to show them
And I'm just going to do whatever makes you and everyone else happy because do i even really matter...

(I'm not sure if I'm done i did this quick and i don't really like the ending so yea w/e)