Nearly 16 Years...

It has been nearly 16 years,
And yet I still cry these tears.
Remembering you is the easy part,
But,I still feel the pain within my heart.

I try to let go of the pain deep inside,
So my feeling I would no longer have to hide.
I try to hold on to our memories,
But damn all those memories no longer come with ease.

No matter what I try to do,
the pain and heartache is still not through.
Damn the anger, loneliness, and grief I feel,
Will I never be able to heal?

Everyday I wake without you near,
is like a dagger in my heart I sadly fear.
Mom, Why did you leave me when I was a kid?
For so long I thought it was something I did.

You died in your sleep that very cold November night,
All I can ask is why didn't you put up a fight?
I'll never understand why you had to leave,
I can only say I wish it had been me.

There is so much I have missed with you,
and still there is so much to do.
How do I explain this pain I feel to somebody else,
when I can't even explain it to myself.
Why is the process of healing so slow,
When looking at time it's been so very long ago.