My Tantrum [ My Anger ]

I close the window
I shut the door
search 4 a darkened corner
and then sit on the floor

I close my eyes shut
memories start to pass by
I hug my knees tighter
as I collapse and cry

the most disturbing thoughts
start 2 seep through my head
I'm tempted to end my life
I crave 2 join the dead

hope is lost for the very last time
no more will i cope and endure
things are only about to get worse
and of that I'm pretty sure

I pray 2 God and plead
for my suffering 2 end fast
I can't bare 2 live one more day
God let tonight be my last

I laid my hands
on a rusty blade
had fantasies of cutting viciously
and just let insanity invade
as I know that with every cut
a burden shall instantly fade

wanting to bleed
till I blackout
embrace the pain
without a scream or a shout

a voice murmurs in my head
with the break of dawn:
ur heart gave up on life
but ur will is strong
and ur soul wants to go on

my tantrum has let up
but soon it shall be back again
till then my trusted blade
will be ready to slice the vein