I know how you feel. its a great poem. keep up the good work. 5/5

*beth*
-xox-

This is a really good poem. it has a lot of emotion. it very well written.5/5

Thats a nice poem! yet very sad!
it was well written... and it had emotions in it...

keep it up!

It was a very good poem, I loved how it mixed several techniques and succesfully so!!! 5/5

This poem is crying out for punctuation. Seriously, as it stands it's ok, with punctuation to guide the reader properly it will shine.

Give to your mom, a friend or anyone and ask them to read it out as it is, then give them another copy with punctuation that guides them where you want them to go and you'll notice a world of difference.

Bret

Much better, I would have made the last four lines independant sentences too. It adds power.

It's rare to have younger poets take advice on board and act on it. thank you.

Good write, for sure a lot of person can relate to this one,
"As I lay
Still
Silent
Unforgiving"
- I dont know how to interpret those lines, seems something is hidden.

keep on writing on what you feel and like.5/5

I liked this, i thought it was very sad, you can really feel the emotion behind the words, and the imagery was good. 5/5

Hey, great poem! I liked the style you used, and the way you ended your poem with single words. Interesting. Full of emotion and nice flow. Keep it up! And thank you for your comment on my poem, meant a lot =)

--Angie xoxo

Very Good, I liked:
I'm lost and confused,
Dazed and bruised,

Bleed because I care,
Bleed because I love,

As I lay
Still
Silent
Unforgiving

These were my favorites.

For your title you should put it as
Bleed or Unforgiving or Storms
I Don't know giving you some ideas thats all

:)
Great Job
5/5

As I lay
Still
Silent
Unforgiving

I like how yu ended it (:
This is good . I love the emotions expressed .
..ღ__MiNDYY

I say 4/5 on this one-it was good, but there were a few parts that could have been better. I felt like the end was awkward/abrupt and there were a few places where the punctuation might have conveyed a stronger, more precise feeling if it had been different. For example, I don't think the period after "Beat myself down" was necessary. Overall, it was a good poem, though.

Aww wow this is a really sad poem you have written. but you did a great job on it also. i can relate to everything you said. wonderful job. 5/5

~Kristina