That was a unexpected turn of events.. in a way anyways. But very good poem! I love the descriptions and rhyming and imagery that you use. Very sad and tragic but beautifully written. Keep it up!

God Bless,
Sarah-Joy

Oh god, written so beatifuly.
it is sad but a great one.
you have great poems
great job
5/5

Excellent poem. Really built up suspense. The rhyming was great and it flowed really well to. Very good descriptions and I like the sad ending..different usually put happy endings, but I like this change. [5/5] Keep it up and take care!

Usually people*

Awww...wow...That gave me the chills. It was so beautifully sad and well written but respectfully dark as well. Everything about it was perfect. The rhyme and flow seemed great and unforced. The poem was very powerful and carried on lots of suspense towards the end. Wonderufl job! Keep it up! 5/5

Wow!!! is all I can say!!! very good ppoem...i loved your wording and your rhyming, 5/5 great!!!

This was such an excellent poem. I love it your an amazing poet keep it up..

~!*FallenTears~!*
~!*Meaghen~!*

5/5

also nice rhyming everything flowed perfect

Tha poem was twisted and beautiful...i have similar demons in my past..i have a poem"Behind closed doors" and if u would read and comment i would appreciate it.

First things first...
All lights are off and time continues to creep
((I think it would be better if you said 'as' instead of 'and'...flows better.))
Panting heavily, as his heart starts to beat fast.
((I think it would flow better here, as well, if you said "Panting heavily, as his heart is beating fast." Something like that))
Kisses her to sleep as he says "Eyes so pretty were made for crying."
((OH MY F--CKING GOD...These are the BEST lines I've ever heard in my entire life...I mean...oh my god...It was perfect for the poem..it gave me chills and just wow...amazing..wow...))

((--I think this should be in 'explict' under 'rape' because..well..duh. But I can see why you put it here, as well. Whatever you want. =]))

Oh my god.. This poem is absolutely amazing. It's one of the best dark poems I've either read ever or in a long time. This is simply amazing.. Everything about it is perfect. The story was so sad, it almost made me cry .. It brought chills to my body. When I realized the story was about rape by the lines, "Clothes are ripped and thrown on the ground" my mouth dropped open...I mean.. my god.. I love it so much...this is my favorite poem. I just...wow...I wish I could explain what I felt! Wonderful poem.

Wonderful job.

xDarkSuicidex 20.5 ((If only it were possible!))

Lol...Sorry my other comment was so long .. But it's simply amazing.

xDarkSuicidex

Ok this was so terrifyingly sad.. it gave me chills, so suspenseful. very well written as well. the only things i could find wrong were a few syllable/line or language issues.(minor tidbits) such as-
Kicking and screaming in nightmares so surreal,
Being watched from afar by eyes of **steel. ** to me this part need another word with 1 or 2 syllables. this line is too short.
ex-Being watched from afar by eyes of *cold*steel.

He sharpens the blade as he counts the seconds passed,
Panting heavily, as his heart starts**Begins not starts ** to beat fast.

Carried from her bedroom and down the *something* hall,
Passing the fading memories on the *something something* wall.

Clothes are ripped *off* and thrown on*to* the ground
Begging for help from *anyone, *but no one *is* around.
Tears stream down her innocent face,
Her rationality *no is*vanished without a *single* trace.

The sleeping city is laced with *lies and* deceit,
As a mad-mans urges, are filled with replete.
One last look at the crumpled body in blood underlying,
Kisses her to sleep *saying* "Eyes so pretty were made for crying."

these are just my suggestions. do with them what you will. =]

x.xLauren

Thankz for participating in my contest!

This was a very good poem and you are a very good poet, 5/5 from me.
8 ) Brittany

The title was so catching, and the opening stanza really sets the poem off in the right direction, i really did enjoy reading this lovely poem and i am amazed at your ability to right such awesome poems
xxxxxx

That's terrible...well, not the writing, but the idea. it's a very good poem...but still, terrible!!!