I let the meat sit out
and rot,
to grow and fester
and pop out baby flies
like zits,
because all i could do was
cry over something
beyond my control.
You shove me off your radar
and slam me with your silence
the roll of your eyes,
the glare on my back
smell of blood
and death
smeared with hate-
all directed at me
and i am confused (frustrated)
and lost in the downhill current
Ripping out my hair
tearing out my eyes
clawing until my fingernails bleed
and I choke on my own spit
because everything I say
is right... is wrong
It's screaming my lungs out
until i choke on bloody vomit
until we're both drowning,
in what i'm trying to say
and you don't want to hear
i hate you, i love you
i want to walk away,
i want to pretend and hope that we both still care
i want the truth for once
not everything i'm seeing in your face,
words on paper and things said in the air
Our fight truns to war
As Im only trying to help
Break down those walls
Youve bult to keep me out
Point your finger elsewhere
You want the help but you
Rather scream and shout
Some days your happy
the nextminutehour manic depression sets in, you unwilling bruised target dies in the cold of your hate.
no ones allowed to comfort you
(sounds of the door
unlocking, smell of coffee and rain entering your room)
you don't want anyone that close
Blood dripping down school walls
spelling( words) sentences of nothing
we are going to say face to face
when we're avoiding the air
we both breathe
I hold my breath when i get out of class
maybe you'll run me down in the hallway
murder me with that angry glance
the animosity makes flies drop dead
to become like an infectious disease we all breathe
Banging my head into the wall
where did we become lost?
the nothingness shoved amidst everything we do
eating away at feigned indifference
and everything I am dying to say
_______
this ending needs to be edited, it doesn't sit well with me anymore
