Memorize

"I can't wait to be alone."
That's all she thinks out there.
She's nervous when they're all around.
Idly, she plays with her hair.

"What will they think?
This isn't even fun!"
Her thinking regards her so-called friends.
She hopes someone will stop the party, but she won't be the one.

She does whatever they do,
not to be cool,
but to be accepted by the only people who care--
the ones she knows from school.

People think she does this
to be popular with her peers,
but really, all she wants to do
to escape her unforgettable fears.

No one will understand,
so she's unapologetic.
She doesn't even try anymore.
Those weak minds are pathetic.

A secret with herself
she'll keep until she dies.
The lies she tells to others,
she's learned to memorize.