Trying To Understand

As I snuck into the kitchen to find the blade I wonder why I was even doing this. I snuck back to my room. Slowly I took the cover of the blade and looked at it my hands trembling. As I thought about where to cut I thought about you. I pulled up my sleeve and put it on my arm try to think of how I was going to do it as I ran the razor down my arm I started feeling how you felt the power, the rush. I thought about how hard it is for you now and even now after I tried to feel how you felt; I still don't understand but I'm trying.