This is how its been

I hate my life, but what can I do
There's no one to listen not even you

I try to tell you how I feel
But it only comes out as a pathetic squeal

Afraid to show you whats inside
Thats how my life turned into a lie

I pretend I'm happy, that every things fine
But deep inside the pains all mine

I feel the same almost everyday
Afraid to tell you because you might laugh at what I say

I keep my self guarded, wont let anyone in
And forever and always this is how its been.