WoW thsi was some great work i give u a 5/5

Nice poem

Fast pace poem you have here, I'm sure this poem sounds better if you read it aloud.
I think some lines are lost in the binding of the poem,hmmm I dont know..ah.. I think its alright.

"Every woman who loved me; I took for an actress." I guess some story or sort is behind this line.

Over all.. a worthwhile read.

I liked this poem. I really like the fact that you used complicated words throughout it. It makes it really intresting. I like the flow of it, and i really like your style. Im defo going to read more of your work. Keep it up! xx

You are right misstress.

I wrote this poem; so that it can be chanted.

There is really nothing I can say about this poem, except it's wonderful. I loved every stanza in this poem. it reminds me of Scottland and I love Scottland it has so much that is fairytale like. I also want to thankk you for your hones comments on my poems. I know most people would be upset, but like you I also take my writing very seriously. I know that sometimes I make a lot of mistakes, but grammer and punctuation has been my biggest downfall. If you have anymore suggestions on how I can learn to be a better poetess or any books that you may suggest that I read, I'm more then glad to except 5/5
Keep up the wonderful work.

Love
Letty

This was good.. The flow, I found was a little off.. Some of the lines were too long or the words you used did just not sound right. In the first stanza, "on" doesn't really rhyme with the rest of that stanza. In the fifth stanza "Price" shouldn't be capitalized.. Other than that, it was good.. You, like me, use very heavy words and expressions which seem to drag the poem down a little and make it seem boring to read.. Try and keep the mood a little lighter or the poem shorter.. Good job though 5/5

Beautiful sad penned, writing well with beautiful emotions, i thoughts this poem tell a story.. To live and love with just one goal, To rights the wrongs of a lifetime's pain, And feel the sun, yet, miss the rain. Then God ends your story... and another is told.........

have a great day! best wishes.

bert ~

Ah; I just want to say that I wore this poem because I wanted to write a fast paced yet emotional poem which would sound good if you chanted it or maybe if you read it aloud.

I wanted to write such a peom because most of the sad poems have a dragging pace and seem too heavy. I wanted a light sounding yet strongly expressive poem.

4/5. I have no clue wht its about. And its too much for me to read. I'm Sorry!

I'll start by commenting on the word choice:

The vocab that you used might be complicated to some but I found that, though it made the effect seem heavy on the poem, it added to the message you were trying to send. It lifted certain lines higher and expressed the mood well in areas such as your final two lines.

I liked the line about mistaking women for an actress. Sounds more like a lost love or even a loss of self to find love. I could be wrong. And the last line gave a depression feel that made this poem truley what it is: A sad poem.

The rhymes worked well but at times threw the flow off.

Wow... I'm speechless. This poem has an effect on me I can't explain.. Your rhyming was great! The beat and flow of it was great! My favorite stanza is:
Amongst my kin, alone I stand;
Within my clan, aloof and bland.
Gloating Glee, runs wild my band
Sound silence, is what I demand.
Among thy fists; an open hand;
Banished by will, not by command.
Great Job!
5/5

This was very well written poem, even though when I got to the end I felt like It was leaving the reader looking for more to read, and the title fits this poem very well. Excellent Job 5/5!

You are a wonderful poet. This is just amazing. I could never write stanza's that all ended with the same rhyming words without sounding forced, yet you managed it flawlessly. I don't know how else to comment this. It's excellent. 5/5

Okay, from one critic to another...

Although the rhyming was good, at times your word choice seemed forced.
It was a very powerful piece of work and on that I commend you.

The flow, like I said above seemed choppy at times, but again, now to the point of uninteresting.

Overall, I loved reading this piece. I read it a couple of times and then I realised, it was actually quite good. Very deep and Brilliant. Bravo
And It is better if you read it aloud.
A great Job.

Amongst my kin, alone I stand;
Within my clan, aloof and bland.
Gloating Glee, runs wild my band
Sound silence, is what I demand.
Among thy fists; an open hand;
Banished by will, not by command.

Loved that stanza.

Happiness
Jeannie

''now to the point of uninteresting''

should have read:

''not to the point of uninteresting''

Happiness
Jeannie

It's better read aloud but whatever it's still a very nice poem. Some lines didnt seem to fit well but you made up for it in meaning. 5/5

I love what you've tried to achieve in this poem with the rhyming scheme but I felt that on occasion the meaning and flow of the poem were sacrificed to stick to the rhyme. Nonetheless...a very ambitious work.
much love x

I think that was a powerful poem, but i thought the rhyming in the stanzas got a bit boring since it was all AAAAAA then BBBBBB and so on...the contant repetion threw me off. I thought to concept of this poem was very nice though and i liked all the powerful words you used in it.

It was good, but I kind of expected to blow me away actually. Personally, I don't like poems that rhyme every line, but i didn't base it off of that. I just didn't really care for it, but it still was good and worthy of a 4, which is what i gave it. I'm not going to sit here and give you advice b/c I'm really not some expert on writing or anything, i just do it for fun and like to hear how i could do better. i didn't understand a lot of this poem, probably because it was symoblism, which is not something i'm good with, but it has a great potential and i look forward to reading your others. thank you for the comments, and i took them into consideration and revised Closer and Closer, so if you could take another look that would be great. I wouldn't ask you to, but i'm entering it in a contest, and i want to make it my best. Thanks so much!

Mousie